Locked out

So today I went to the tailors and ordered more shirts; six total.

Took a cab to the expensive grocery store, bought what I needed for meatballs.

Stopped at my video lady; bought a box set of Almodóvar movies.

Came home and realized I was locked out.

I went to the guard, he told me (I think) to go to the hardware guy.  The hardware guy called the locksmith, who showed up in 10 minutes.   Before starting on my lock, he excused himself to the neighbor lady’s balcony, where he peed against the wall.

He poked and dug stuff out of my keyhole.  Then lubed it with oil (Is that oil? Yes, chicken oil.  Chicken, like chicken-egg chicken? Yes.)  He wiped it with a wad of string.  Then he jabbed it some more. Then he stuffed they keyhole with the chicken oil string and, managed to turn the lock to 12 o’clock.  More jabbing.  Then he takes a roll of clear, hard plastic out of his pocket and tries to do the credit card trick, which doesn’t work.  More jabbing. He lights a cigarette.  More jabbing.  More clear plastic, this time he rocks the door back and forth until he gets tired.  He stuffs it with string again, eventually getting it to 9 o’clock… and then, we’re in.

He asks for 80 kuai ($11.50 USD) and he’s off, and I’m inside.

I may go out again later; I saw Kung Fu Panda at my DVD guy’s place down the dirty street.

One thought on “Locked out

  1. i loved KFP – the dumpling duel scene was the best. i thought they captured the chubby negotiation of space quite well.

    sigh. i really must walk more.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s