Sympathy is Funny… in French!

Disappointing Riddle:  What did Madeline the codependent calico cat say to the quiet roomful of attentive pigs who were all in town for a toilet bowl conference?

Answer:  “Meow.”  Because Madeline is a cat.  Don’t go back.

______

I was chatting with a friend today, and we needed to express our sympathy, something like “poor guy,” or “poor kid.” In English it’s usually sarcastic, but in Spanish (and Chinese, I think) it’s pretty easy to express sincere sympathy with a word. In French.. in French it’s just hilarious. We were cracking ourselves up.

Without much prompting, my friend and I struck a formula; roughly sad + little + animal. Once that was established, it was a matter of escalating. Which we did. I’m going to list them below, and leave them in the original French, because they’re way funnier… If you don’t read French, and you’re curious what they say, you could look up the words, or run a translator.

le pauvre
pauvre petit bichon
pitoyable tout petit souris
lamentable petit lapin
malhereux petit poisson rouge
pauvre petite truite naine
triste cafard bebe
malheureuse petite merdouille
moribond poussin enorme
pauvre tortue agonisante
taciturne hippopotame asthmatiforme
gros castor dépressif
méchant éléphant poilu
détestable xylophone à pattes courtes
petite hyène soporifique
gros canard enragé
singe boiteux égaré
gros chat désorienté
petit chapeau ratatiné
inconsolable cheval syphilitique

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