Viral gastroenteritis is inflammation of the stomach and intestines caused by a virus. The infection can lead to diarrhea and vomiting. It is sometimes called the “stomach flu.” (thanks, Google Health)
So now you know what I’ve been up to lately. When I first here in Vegas, I developed a loose routine of eating with the folks, online shopping, and driving around. I even joined a gym to help combat boredom, and to get into fighting shape for my 20 year high school reunion.
In the last two days, I’ve replaced that routine with napping, puking, and torrential diarrhea.
I’m not sure if the lethargy I’ve been experiencing is related physiologically to the stomach flu, or if I just have a bad attitude. Due to the vomiting and torrential diarrhea, I’ve been reluctant to leave the house, and cable tv just isn’t enough to keep me awake nowadays. So I have become a champion napper, schlepping my queasy stomach to the sofa in whichever room of the house is the coolest at the moment; my bedroom, the living room, or mama’s office. At first I would wake up sad and queasy, but my condition has been improving, and from my latest naps I’ve awoken with a sense of accomplishment.
Napping, I’ve found, is also easy on the muscles, as I think I hit the gym a little too hard that first day. However, my shoulders are sore, and I’ve determined that it’s due to napping on my side. Yes, I’ve been napping so much I’m sore from it.
The first round of puking took me by surprise. I knew that the torrential diarrhea was depleting me, so I kept drinking water. By the evening I was hungry, so I went into the kitchen to stare into the fridge and then TURNED AND PUKED INTO THE SINK! I hadn’t eaten much, but I had, apparently, drunk three gallons of water, because it all came out.
As I was puking, I had a pleasant flashback. I thought of the time Kiwi J and I were sharing a hotel room in Zhenjiang, and we heard a Chinese dude down the hall just zooking his face off, basically screaming as he wretched, sighing pitifully between the chunky heaves.
I’ve always been a quiet puker, I never feared puking like other folks, and never found it quite as unpleasant as my other friends have. So I turned to Kiwi J I said, mockingly, “Is he putting on that show for us?”
J looked up at me and asked, “What do you mean? ”
I said something like, “it’s no fun to puke, but no one has to puke that loud.”
Kiwi J was dead serious when he replied, “oh I’m heaps louder than that, bro.” Which amused me to no end; both that he used the word “heaps” but also the image of this soft-spoken smart ass rolfing operatically. He would disapprove of me making light of his pain probably. I miss that guy a lot.
Anyway, it was a fun flashback to have, and when my next round of puking came (over the toilet this time), I tried to be a little more noisy, just for laughs.
Don’t worry, I’m not going to go into any description about this particular symptom, neither in quantity nor quality. I will, however, link you to this video, which as always, you don’t have to click.