Lifeskill #1: Sort Silverware INTO the Dishwasher

So you have a bunch of dirty silverware that you want to wash in the dishwasher; you rinse each one off one by one, you run the dishwasher, and then when the silverware is clean and dry, you have to sort each piece into the drawer.

Here’s the lifeskill:  when you’re putting each individual piece of silverware into the dishwasher, sort them as you go; put forks with forks and spoons with spoons.  They’re going in one by one anyway, so it doesn’t take any extra time at all to sort them into separate cubbyholes.  Once the load is clean and dry, you grab all ten forks from the fork cubbyhole all at once and drop them together into the drawer.  Life is better.

Here is what the detractors say:

  • “OMG, it makes absolutely no difference.” Or the variant, “Putting stuff in the randomly is SO MUCH EASIER.” The people who make these arguments have obviously not tried it, they didn’t even bother to think it through.  In any case, don’t listen to them.
  • “All the like silverware will NEST, food, particles will be trapped and then everybody dies of food poisoning due to dirty silverware!  Will somebody PLEASE think of the children!” This argument is invalid because left to their own devices, silverware will not nest with each other unless you force them to.  Nesting while vertical does not occur in the wild, with the one tiny exception of Chinese soup spoons.

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is the first edition in this blog’s new category called “lifeskills.”  I intend to make this ongoing series of lifeskills, which I continue to gather over the years.  Some of the topics will be trivial, like this one, because face it, no one has ever died from sorting clean silverware into the drawer.  Some topics may be specific to me, like “how to make JP lose all respect for you;” over the years, I’ve become quite an expert at this through close observation.  Then again, some topics might actually improve your life, like “how to ask someone’s ethnicity” or “how to get out of a speeding ticket.”

Come to think of it, I might not know the answers to all of these questions, so maybe if you have a lifeskill you’d like to share, you can email it to me at jpv206 (at) gmail(dotcom).

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