Conversations I’m Bored Of (#37)

A: Oh, JP, you have to try this drink.
B: Mmm, what’s in it?
A: It has apple juice….
B: Oh, I shouldn’t then, thank you anyway.
A: No, it’s good, you have to try it.
B: Thanks, I shouldn’t. I can’t drink sweet drinks.
A: Oh well, this is just a little sweet.
B: Thank you. I have diabetes so I shouldn’t drink any sweet drink.
A: There’s no sugar.
B: If there’s juice, I shouldn’t drink it.
A: But it’s natural!
B: Yes, fruit juice is toxic to me.
A: But it’s natural!
B: Thank you anyway. I wish I could have it.
A: But you’re eating a piece of cheesecake.
B: Yes, this is my sweet thing for the day.
A: But what’s the difference between a piece of cheesecake and a drink with a little juice in it?
B: It’s a DRINK.
A: (incredulous) So it MATTERS if it’s LIQUID or SOLID FORM?
B: Correct.
A: I don’t get it.
B. I can see that. Anyway, one of us is managing my sugar, and one of us is YOU. So thank you anyway. I cannot try your drink.
A: Well, you don’t have to be a dick about it.

–later that day–
A: Aha! You’re drinking a margarita! There’s lime juice in that!
B: Yes. There’s also booze.
A: WHAT?! SO BOOZE IS GOOD FOR DIABETES?!
B: Booze lowers blood sugar.
A: OH DOES IT?
B: Hey, before you go playing GOTCHA with what I’m eating and drinking could you please remind yourself that you know NOTHING ABOUT DIABETES?
A: I don’t… it just doesn’t make sense…
B: REMEMBER? REMEMBER HOW YOU KNOW ABSOLUTELY NOTHING? REMEMBER HOW ALL YOUR BELIEFS ABOUT DIABETES ARE JUST TOTALLY MADE UP ON THE SPOT AND PULLED OUT OF YOUR ASS? REMEMBER THAT?
A: Dude, you’re kind of a dick.

–end scene–

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