Numbers 1-99; Teacher of the Year

Get ready to shine the trophy and cut the check for a million dollars.  I’m about to win Teacher of the Year for my Numbers 0-99 lesson.  Please make sure to spell my name right on the certificate. Here’s how it’s going to happen.

First, pass out the pre-printed bingo sheets, one game per card.  It only took you 5 minutes to print out all the bingo cards from  Like a bawss. Review the numbers with the class.  Set your iBingo Caller app  to Chinese audio, manual advance, and play the first game slowly, reminding students to auto-mental-repeat each number they hear, and not to freak out when they miss something.

Declare the first bingo game a practice run.  Then go for double bingo.  Then blackout cover-all. Award a sticker for the winners who can call back their winning numbers.

Then roll out the double game:  two games per card.  Set your iBingo Caller app to 5 second auto-advance and turn it loose on the classroom.  Resist the urge to intervene when students freak out.  Light a cigar and wait until someone yells bingo.

By the time you’ve gone through the single/double/blackout cycle, the students will be hungry for more cash prizes and ready for regular bingo.  By the way, cash prizes are a great way to spend department funds.  Also, depending on the size of the class, only one cocktail waitress is necessary.  If you want to mix it up a bit, you can play hard-way bingo, the six pack, the 9 pack, krazy kite, postage stamps, you know.  Make it fun for the kids, worth the $200 buy in.

The final step is to pass out the quadruple game:  each student plays eight cards at a time. Set the iPad Caller App to auto-call the game at 2 seconds per ball, that’s plenty.  Make sure the representative from the IRS is there; when multi-million dollar prizes like this are awarded they like to be on hand to counsel new millionaires, so they don’t blow through all the money before they can pay their tax bills.

Only one of them can win the big prize, the rest will naturally be despondent, so it wouldn’t hurt to have information about counseling on hand.  But by that time, the bell will ring, and you can send everyone to study hall.

During study hall, you can work on your acceptance speech for the Teacher of the Year Banquet.  Remember, you only get a minute thirty to say everything, so plan it well and rehearse; you don’t want to be one of those fools who squanders all their time talking about how they’re squandering all of their time.

After you win, you’re set for life.  Schools will start showering you with job offers and you’ll watch your salary triple or quadruple.  Of course, you’ll decline those offers and take the more lucrative book and movie deals. There will be paparazzi, so this might be a good time to invest in some sun glasses.  Dark ones, which can make sleeping in the back row of a faculty meeting a whole lot easier.

Actually, you know what, I’ll just buy the glasses and skip the bingo.  Make the kids swap phone numbers and call it a day.  Besides, that iBingo Caller app is $1.99, who wants to spend that on an app you use once a year.

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