Below is a list of things that I do or have done in the past that have mortified people. Sometimes they’re embarrassed to learn of my exploits; sometimes they laugh like it’s comedy. Sometimes they say, “WHY?” or “Really?….,” but it’s never a real question; they don’t actually want to know why. They just want to express that they disapprove; what they really mean is “gross.” Please post your own “not sorrys” in the comments below.
- I was in high school marching band. I played percussion. I absolutely have hearing loss from it. Apparently it’s an activity for dorks? I learned a lot about performance, commitment, and work ethic.
- I studied Tagalog (Filipino). “Why, that’s useless…,” She said it to my face, looking me straight in the eye. I felt like slapping her face right off her ugly skull.
- I sing at karaoke bars, cold sober, without any hesitation. It’s so natural to me that I have to remind myself that people are mortified. By the way, please spare me the speech. I don’t care.
- I make kimchi fried rice with SPAM and a fried egg.
- I do not take coffee in to-go cups. I go out of my way to find coffee places that serve fresh-roasted, fresh ground coffee, coffee that doesn’t taste like ass. I deserve to drink it out of a ceramic mug, and I deserve to sit in a chair and enjoy it.
- I don’t watch Hollywood movies about American society that can’t cast a single minority. Movie makers create fantasy worlds. When they can’t write or cast a brown person, they create all-White fantasy worlds. I know there are people whose lives are like that, but I don’t care to watch it. The American society that I know and love is a wonderful riot of cultures.
- I’ve been known to do mudmasks and biore strips. I don’t notice much of a difference in my skin but it’s entertaining to see the crud come out.
- I take pictures of food, primarily to torment the hungry and/or homesick. Also, if I’m overpaying I don’t want to forget it. I’m extremely fast with the shot, usually people don’t have time to roll their eyes and complain… but of course they do anyway. Who cares? Seriously, if I’m faster than the bore across the table rolling their eyes, WHO CARES?
- I take selfies. I own a selfie stick (as of yesterday).
- I facebook all the time. It used to be for publicity for SpanishPod, but now it’s just for vanity… also to stay in touch.
- I don’t pick up pizza or get it delivered and then eat it out of the box. I usually just don’t get pizza, but on the rare occasions I do, I either eat it at the restaurant or re-crisp it in a cast iron pan. Soggy pizza is a stomach ache.
- I’m surprised that people read my blog.
- I blog at all. The person who was mortified at this thought it took a lot of audacity and vanity to publish your own thoughts.
- I listened to WHAM! in middle school. What a mess, and yes, I still love it.
So if it’s listed above, it’s because it’s something that someone has indicated to me is either tacky, embarrassing, or gross, or a waste of time. Additionally, I’m not ashamed of any of it. Of course, I probably have a list of behaviors that I am ashamed of, but that’s another post.